i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i think i just lost a toe
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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