new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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