Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
