just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize