Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
