i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
