I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
