Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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