we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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