She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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