like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
