I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
