Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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