Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All I want is dick and wine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
