I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
