Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize