Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
