Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
