im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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