you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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