I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
