So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
