Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
