Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
