I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
