last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I checked into jail on foursquare
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
