I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
