How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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