So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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