THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
