U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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