So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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