My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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