Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
