I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
