butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
