Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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