i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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