And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
please don't ironically join a cult
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