how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
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High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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