i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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