problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
