Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
