I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize