You really coming over, don't trick.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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