Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
