erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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