Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
