Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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