Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
