just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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