If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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