If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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