end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Acid is not a monday night drug
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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