My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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