Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize