walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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