yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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